With the mid-year school holidays upon us, I thought it’d be a great time to review the family rules to make sure everyone is on the same page and so I remain in calm control throughout the holidays (yeah right!)
So here they are the School Holiday Family Rules:
1. Just because we have 25 glasses in the cupboard is not a challenge to see if you can use them all in one day.
I mean seriously – what is with that? You do not need a different glass for every hour of the day! And I don’t see you drink that much anyway – how do we end up with an empty cupboard and a sink full of glasses every single night. I mean we can be out for the whole entire day and the glasses still get used – how???
One glass all day – pleeeeeaaaase I beg of you!
2. The sink is not a bin – the bin is a bin
Right – this one applies to the whole family. WHY THE FUCK are you putting your rubbish in the sink? The Sink is not a bin! The BIN IS THE BIN!!! If you have orange peel on your plate from a tasty snack (that I probably served you) then please dispose of the orange peel into the bin. I will not be washing the peel and reusing it – so it doesn’t need to go in the sink!
However, thank you ever so much for returning the dishes to the sink in the first place – LOVE YOUR WORK!!
3. Lego is to be strictly kept out of walk ways at all times
All offending lego will be swept up/vacuumed up and put in the bin! Actually who am I kidding – I’m not throwing any of your lego out – that shit’s expensive! And I’m not going to vacuum it up either – I love my Dyson too much for that!
Maybe I’ll just make a different rule – Mum is to wear shoes for the next 2 weeks. (Actually that’ll probably work better anyway!)
4. If you say “I’m bored” there is plenty of housework – I’ve never been bored cleaning the toilet
As a mum have you ever said “I’m bored”? Exactly! We don’t have time to be bored do we? So if I hear you say “I’m bored”, please don’t expect me to do anything about it. Being bored is awesome! It means you don’t have anything to do. Why would you complain about that? Just sit back, put your feet up and relax! It’s not something you complain about!!!
And if you do expect me to fix it, I’ll happily share my to-do list with you until you realise that it’s actually a good thing to be bored!
5. The grown up male in the house – you know Dad – he’s just as capable of doing stuff as mum – so don’t forget to ask him stuff every now and then too
Seriously team – why are you always asking me before Dad? I reckon the “Muuuuum” to “Daaaad” whiny ratio is about 11563 to 1. That means I hear “Muuuuuuum” eleven thousand, five hundred and sixty three times more than I hear “Daaaaad”. Dad is a parent too. Dad can help you with stuff just as well as I can. Please, please, please ask Dad for help too!
So that’s it, I hope that helps you enjoy your holidays a little bit more, and here is a handy little print out for you to keep on your fridge as a reminder…
Happy school holidays!